Sally Silvers on Seeing in Relationship - 21 May 2009

Thanks to Sally for a thoughtful evening. I particularly enjoyed the juxtaposition of the scientific ("the orbitofrontal cortex which ... mediates the capacity to reflect ... and empathise with others") with the emotional and spiritual.

At our previous meeting, Mark Lough quoted a ratio of positive to negative comments (to four decimal places! Apparently between 2.9301 and 11.6 is desirable for a healthy group.) At this meeting, Sally gave a very small number (1/100th of a second?) for the time it takes us to perceive something significant in another person's face.

Here's another intriguing idea: "Relationships are dymnamic tensional systems". There are tensions between the needs individuals have of each other to be open or closed, connected or separate, novel or predictable. We had some fascinating discussion about how 'seeing' these tensions might reduce the need for 'coping' with them.